Tag: Church

Wanted: The Perfect Pastor

Let’s look at what it takes to be a perfect pastor or minister.

  1. He pleases everyone.
  2. Preaches exactly twenty minutes and follows it with an invitation in which everyone is convicted but no one is offended.
  3. Works from 7 AM to midnight in every aspect of work from counseling to janitorial work.
  4. 27 years old with 30 years of experience.
  5. Tall and short.
  6. Thin and heavy set.
  7. Handsome but not overpowering.
  8. One brown eye and one blue.
  9. Hair parted in the middle and straight on one side and wavy on the other, with a balding spot on top revealing his maturity.
  10. Has a burning desire to work with teenagers and spends all his time with senior citizens.
  11. He smiles constantly with a straight face because he has a sense of humor that keeps him seriously at his work.
  12. Invests 25 hours a week in sermon preparation, 20 hours in pastoral counseling, 10 hours in meetings, 5 hours in emergencies, 20 hours in visitation and evangelism, 6 hours in funerals and weddings, 30 hours in prayer, 12 hours in correspondence, and 10 hours in creative thinking.
  13. Is always available in his office.
  14. He always has time for all committees and activities of the church. He never misses the meeting of any church organization and is always busy evangelizing the un-churched.
  15. Has perfect kids.
  16. Spouse plays the keyboard.
  17. The perfect pastor is always the next town over.
  18. He is talented, gifted, scholarly, practical, popular, compassionate, understanding, patient, level-headed, dependable, loving, caring, neat, organized, cheerful, and above all, humble.
  19. Many versions of this are found on the Internet and several have this added “If your pastors does not measure up, simply send this notice to six other churches that are tired of their pastor too. Then bundle up your pastor and send him to the church at the top of your list. If everyone cooperates, in one week you will receive 1,643 pastors. One of them should be perfect. Have faith in this letter. One church broke the chain and got its’ old pastor back in less than three months.”
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Found at Church

Let me state my bias up front. I love the church and I am so thankful to be a part of it. Why? I once was lost but was found at church. There I also found faith, fellowship, friendship, family, fruitfulness and a heavenly Father. David confessed one day in the Lord’s house—the church—beats thousands spent as a guest in the house of sin (Psalms 84:10). He could be counted on to be often found at church.

The church is a group of believers, anywhere in the world, that have been called “out of darkness into his marvelous light” (1 Peter 2:9). The Bible employs about one hundred metaphors and phrases to portray the “church.” Chief among these is the idea that the church is an ekklesia; the “called out” ones. Other pivotal images depict the church as the Body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:3-8; 12-31). The church is a living organism and “grows as God causes it to grow” (Colossians 2:19). Growth is natural, expected, and deliberate. We continue to develop into our future role as the “Bride of Christ” (John 3:29; Matthew 9:15; Mark 2:19; 2 Corinthians 11:2; Revelation 19:7). We are part of the family (2 Cor. 6:18; John 1:12). There is protection in the church because we are among the flock (Luke 12:32).

The word “church” first appears in Matthew 16:18, “…and on this rock I will build my church” (NIV). The church is called out from the world and called into an assembly (Acts 19:32) for the purpose of fellowship and reaching a lost world. A group of people at any level from local to universal may rightly be called “the church” as demonstrated in the following table:

THE CHURCH

House Church – Romans 16:5; 1 Corinthians 16:19

Local Church – 1 Corinthians 1:2; 2 Corinthians 1:1; 1 Thessalonians 1:1; Galatians 1:2

Regional Church – Acts 9:31

Universal Church – Ephesians 5:25; 1 Corinthians 12:28

Remember the church is not a building or even a denomination. We are the church! The church is comprised of every believer starting with the birth of the church in Acts 2, throughout the ages, and still propels itself into the twenty-first century.

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